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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26977729">so come over now (and talk me down)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SUGARCOSMOS/pseuds/SUGARCOSMOS'>SUGARCOSMOS</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged Up NCT Dream, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Porn, Bottom Na Jaemin, Cheating, Homophobia, M/M, Porn With Plot, Smut, Top Lee Jeno</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:27:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,378</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26977729</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SUGARCOSMOS/pseuds/SUGARCOSMOS</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>jaemin hates going back home but somehow, something keeps dragging him back. that thing just so happens to be lee jeno.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>so come over now (and talk me down)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>TW // there is homophobia at the end and it's implied somewhere in the middle !!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jaemin hates going home. Each time his flight lands, it always ends up being the beginning of the absolute worst experience of his life. Time and time again, his hometown just proves to be an absolute nightmare for him, but somehow something always ends up pulling him back. </p><p> </p><p>This time, he was home for his brother’s wedding. </p><p> </p><p>Jaewoo has always been, in Jaemin’s words, the superior brother. He was older, better looking, better grades, and their parents favored him more than they did Jaemin. </p><p> </p><p>Fine by him though. He didn’t care. </p><p>It didn’t bother him that much anymore and that’s why Jaemin was in Jaewoo’s dressing room, watching as the elder repeatedly fiddled with his bow over, and over, and over, and over. </p><p> </p><p>“Hyung, you look fine. It’s not like Seohyun isn’t going to marry you if your tie looks fucked up.” Their mother smacked Jaemin on the back of the head, scolding him for his profanity. C’mon, he’s in his mid-20’s, he doesn’t need his mom telling him what to and what not to say. </p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t tell her off though. He knew what the consequences would be so he just sat back and bit his tongue.</p><p> </p><p>“Language, Na Jaemin.” Their father spat out, glaring at the younger who just rolled his eyes as soon as he turned his back. </p><p> </p><p>“Don't mind them, Jaeminnie. You’re right, it’s perfectly fine.” Jaewoo smiled at his little brother who gave him a forced one in return. He hated that nickname, it gave him bad memories that he didn’t want to sort at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>It took a bit longer than Jaemin’s liking for the wedding to start and <em> god </em> was the ceremony boring as hell. </p><p> </p><p>Don’t get him wrong, he loves his brother and good for him. He's locked down for life (something Jaemin thinks will never happen to him) and he has a pretty wife but he just couldn’t stand it. </p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t stand having to stand there by his brother’s side, watching as he vowed to stay by her side through thick and thin, through sickness and in health, ‘till death do them part. </p><p> </p><p>It pained him in a way and in a place that he couldn’t quite place. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe he’s jealous because his youth is running out faster than he thinks and he’s afraid to be alone for the rest of his life but he doesn't know. He didn’t want to think about it.</p><p> </p><p>At least the reception was somewhat tolerable. Thank god for alcohol. </p><p> </p><p>Jaemin sipped on his wine as he watched Seohyun and Jaewoo dance for the first time as a married couple and he just, he means this in the sweetest way possible, didn’t give a fuck. </p><p> </p><p>To put it in the nicest way possible, he hated being there. He hated the wedding, he hated the reception, he hated the people around him who would come up to him and say shit like, “I held you when you were a baby, do you remember me?” </p><p> </p><p>He hated this bullshit place he called a hometown. </p><p> </p><p>It was painful being there. If anything, the alcohol made it a little bit tolerable. Just a little bit. </p><p> </p><p>If he looked hard enough, he could see the people who made fun of him in middle school and if he looked even harder he could find the people who liked him just enough where they were acquaintances but not friends. </p><p> </p><p>Screw Jaewoo for being so popular amongst this fucking miserable town.</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin stood up, finishing his glass before heading outside to the balcony. He knew he needed the fresh air before he could head back to his hotel room. The cold air instantly hit his skin as soon as he opened the door and he could see that it wasn’t just him out there. </p><p> </p><p>There was another figure leaning against the railing in the shadows. Jaemin stood a good distance away from them, not wanting to spark conversation or interaction of any sort with them. It was probably someone who used to steal his notes from his classes and flush them down the toilet. </p><p> </p><p>Jaemin took in a deep breath, watching as it condensed in the cold winter air. It wasn’t that cold to where it hurt his lungs to just breath but cold enough to where he was grateful he brought his suit jacket out with him. </p><p> </p><p>“Jaemin?” An all too familiar voice broke the silence. Of course, it had to be him. </p><p> </p><p>Lee Jeno, aka Jaemin’s best friend up until he moved away. </p><p> </p><p>They met in kindergarten and stayed together until college was over. They stayed together through thick and thin, and to them, thick and thin was when Jeno got popular for making the basketball team and Jaemin got made fun of for liking boys. </p><p> </p><p>Despite his continuously growing popularity, Jeno remained by his side and made all the shit people would say about him insignificant. He was the only person who made Jaemin feel like himself. </p><p> </p><p>Jaemin never knew what really happened to Jeno after he left home to take a job in the city. He didn’t really keep any contact with anyone anyway. Moving was like a clean slate for him.</p><p> </p><p>The only time they would talk would be when he’d come back but they always would end up the same. They would always end up like this. Just like this.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t even notice it was you. Guess it’s been that long.” Jaemin’s voice was near a whisper as his hands gripped the stone-cold railing in front of him. Just his luck, right? Yeah…</p><p> </p><p>“It’s been too long.” Jeno moved closer so that he and Jaemin were next to each other, their shoulders nearly touching. </p><p> </p><p>Jaemin stayed put, looking down at the ocean below them and observing the way the ocean met the sand and pulled away, taking bits and pieces of each other before coming back again, and again, and again. The sand would take some of the ocean and the ocean would take some of the sand. Just like Jeno and Jaemin.</p><p> </p><p>Each time Jaemin came back, Jeno would always find his way back to him and Jaemin would leave with some parts of him replaced with things that reminded him of Jeno, just like the ocean and the sand. </p><p> </p><p>Jaemin turned to Jeno, their eyes immediately meeting. There was something in Jeno’s eyes that Jaemin couldn’t really place. It was at the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t figure it out. It showed for a second before it disappeared and it made Jaemin feel like there was a whole in him. Right dead center of his body. </p><p> </p><p>“I missed you,” Jeno whispered, bringing his hand up to Jaemin’s cheek, brushing it softly with his thumb. Jaemin’s eyes closed as he leaned into his hand, somewhat feeling complete now that they were touching, no matter how insignificant it may seem in the future. </p><p> </p><p>Jeno leaned in, leaving very little space between the two males. Before their lips could meet, Jaemin stopped him, pulling away a little bit. </p><p> </p><p>“We can’t,” Jeno’s eyes had the slightest hint of sadness in them as the younger sighed, looking back down at the coast. The ocean always found its way back to the sand.</p><p> </p><p>“Not here at least. You know what happened the last time we got caught. Let’s go back to my hotel room, at least we’ll be in private there.” Jeno smiled, giving Jaemin his infamous eye smile that made his heart flutter whenever it was directed at him.</p><p> </p><p>The two snuck out of the reception and into Jeno’s car without anyone noticing which came as a shock to Jaemin. Obviously, they would notice once they would start taking photos with Seohyun and Jaewoo but he didn’t care. He would make it up to them with lunch or something.</p><p> </p><p>Jeno’s hand rested on Jaemin’s inner thigh throughout the car ride, occasionally rubbing and squeezing it, eliciting small hums of satisfaction from Jaemin. </p><p> </p><p>As soon as the hotel room door shut behind them, Jaemin’s back was pushed against the door and their lips crashed together, fitting perfectly against one another.</p><p> </p><p>The way their tongues danced was like ballet and they were the only two on stage, performing a story through intricate movements. They way Jeno’s fingers worked meticulously to remove every single article of clothing on Jaemin was like the conductor leading their orchestra. </p><p> </p><p>Jeno’s hands-on Jaemin’s soft and sensitive skin was like lights giving the dancers life. The way the sheets moved against Jaemin’s bareback was like the velvet seats decorating the house. Every kiss felt like violinists playing to their heart's content. </p><p> </p><p>Every single component made something that was so dirty feel so beautiful in a way that Jaemin knew he wouldn’t be able to recreate no matter how hard he tried. What they had was unique and was irreplaceable. Maybe that’s why Jaemin always came back. Just like the ocean and the shore. </p><p> </p><p>Jaemin’s fingers fumbled around Jeno’s buttoned top, messily unbuttoning each and every button as the elder took his time painting Jaemin’s neck and torso with hickies that he knew would take days to get rid of. </p><p> </p><p>“Off,” Jaemin muttered as soon as his hands reached Jeno’s waistband. </p><p> </p><p>“Your wish is my command.” Jeno cheekily replied, undoing and pulling off his belt with one hand, throwing it onto the floor. His pants and undergarments were lost as fast as the belt was, leaving him bare just like Jaemin. </p><p> </p><p>Their lips briefly met again before Jeno pulled away to search into the drawers for something they were both familiar with. Sighing with displeasure, Jeno shut the drawer in hopes that it would be around the room somewhere. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s in the tiny pocket of my suitcase. You won’t miss it.” Jaemin’s words aided Jeno and soon in his hands was the bottle full of the smooth substance he was searching for. </p><p> </p><p>Jeno’s lips landed on Jaemin’s again but this time, it was less sexual and needy and filled with tenderness and care, just like they were in high school when Jeno’s parents weren’t home and the door was locked. </p><p> </p><p>It lasted longer than the other kisses shared that night but as soon as they pulled away they couldn’t seem to meet in the middle anymore. Something shifted and they knew it as soon as it happened. </p><p> </p><p>The two stared at each other, bathing in each other’s warmth and company before Jeno spoke up.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, how long has it been since you stretched?” He asked, popping open the lube bottle. </p><p> </p><p>“How long has it been since we last saw each other?” Jeno just hummed as a response and poured the cold liquid over Jaemin’s hole and his fingers, making sure to spread it evenly to reduce the amount of discomfort Jaemin would feel.</p><p> </p><p>Once Jeno earned some sort of signal, the first finger dove in at a slow pace, occasionally curling upward in search of Jaemin’s sweet spot. Jaemin’s hands found themselves intertwined in the other’s hair, tugging lightly whenever he felt the slightest amount of pleasure which ended up being a lot. </p><p> </p><p>Soon, another finger made its way in, further contributing to the satisfaction growing in Jaemin’s stomach. He let out a series of moans and hums as the third and final finger entered. He could feel himself slowly inching closer and closer to his climax but as soon as he felt like he was on that ledge, Jeno pulled his fingers out, pulling down from that high. </p><p> </p><p>He pouted and Jeno merely chuckled as he poured lube onto his cock. </p><p> </p><p>“You were always such a tease,” Jaemin mumbled as he watched Jeno’s cock grow harder the more he spread the lube around. </p><p> </p><p>His cock was small in comparison to the elder’s. Jeno’s was fairly long but what Jaemin loved the most was its girth. No matter how hard he tried, his cock would always stretch him out more than his fingers would.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you ready?”</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin nodded as Jeno slowly pushed in, the stretch making his breath hitch. </p><p> </p><p>“Is it too much? Should I go slower?” Jaemin shook his head, his hands rubbing Jeno’s shoulders. </p><p> </p><p>“N-no, no, it’s just it’s been so long since we last fucked and you’re so big,” A smirk made its way onto Jaemin’s face as he uttered those last few words. He could feel Jeno’s dick twitch as he started to push himself in. </p><p> </p><p>“F-Fuck…” Jaemin muttered as soon as Jeno bottomed out. </p><p> </p><p>The brunette wrapped his legs around Jeno’s waist and pushed him in more even though there wasn’t any space left. It also worked as some sort of signal that he was fine and the elder began to thrust in and out of Jaemin. </p><p> </p><p>The moans that Jaemin let out mixed in with the grunts Jeno emitted were like an orchestra, the higher strings playing off the lower ones. Although they sounded great alone, together they made something so beautiful. </p><p> </p><p>Jaemin threw his head back against the pillows as Jeno hit his prostate with complete accuracy and the raven-haired male took this as a chance to nip at Jaemin’s neck. He bit and sucked on the skin, painting him red which would turn into a pretty blue and purple as time progressed. </p><p> </p><p>As Jeno sped his pace up, Jaemin’s hands found themselves scratching on Jeno’s back, leaving marks that would stay with him for a day or two. They stung a bit as the air hit his now red skin but he didn’t care. As long as they were from Jaemin, he didn’t care. </p><p> </p><p>“There! G-God, more!” Jaemin choked out. Jeno hummed in response as he continued to drill into Jaemin’s hole. </p><p> </p><p>Their lips met briefly for a kiss and as soon as it was over, they met again, and again, and again. They couldn’t help it. The way Jaemin tasted like vanilla and honey was addicting to Jeno and it was satisfying how they felt against each other. </p><p> </p><p>Jaemin’s hand traveled down to his neglected cock, pumping it to build up that knot blossoming in his stomach. He moaned against Jeno’s lips and he could feel the other getting sloppier as they continued. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m gonna cum,” Jaemin moaned as white ropes flew out, landing on his and Jeno’s chests as well as part of his hand. </p><p> </p><p>“Me too.” Jeno groaned, deeply thrusting into Jaemin before releasing inside him. They stayed like that for a bit, listening to each other’s breaths even out. Jeno pulled out soon afterward, laying next to Jaemin, pulling him close with the brunette’s head on his chest. </p><p> </p><p>Jaemin gulped as he listened to Jeno’s heartbeat. </p><p> </p><p>Thump. </p><p>Thump.</p><p>Thump.</p><p> </p><p>Each thump just reminded Jaemin of an earlier time in his life where he had high hopes for so many things. He was so confident that things would end up the way he wanted them to. Oh, how the times have changed.</p><p> </p><p>“We can’t keep doing this.” The words came out in such a quiet whisper that Jaemin wasn’t sure that Jeno heard it. He knew he did. He knew. </p><p> </p><p>“I know,” Jeno muttered, his hand coming up to brush Jaemin’s hair out of his eyes. He placed a small kiss on his forehead and for a second Jaemin saw a glimpse of what he could have. What everything could be. </p><p> </p><p>Life was so fucking unfair. </p><p> </p><p>Jeno’s phone rang right at that moment like whoever was on the other side knew it would be best for both of them. Like they knew if they stayed like that any longer it would hurt both of them more than they would know. </p><p> </p><p>“Hello?” Jaemin moved off of Jeno’s chest and onto the left side of the bed, his feet touching the soft rug beside him. “Sorry babe, just lost track of time meeting up with an old friend. I’m on my way home now.” </p><p> </p><p>“Babe?” Jaemin asked as he watched Jeno slide his belt through the loops on his pants. </p><p> </p><p>“I have a girlfriend now. Eunji.” Jaemin nodded and fiddled with the sheets.</p><p> </p><p>“Congratulations.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin didn’t know what else to say. Was he supposed to ask more about her? Curse Jeno out for leading her on because for years on end Jeno knew that he was gay? Scold him for cheating on her? </p><p> </p><p>“Uh,” Jeno broke the silence, “I’ll be heading out now. Come to our spot tomorrow at night if you’re still here. I’ll be there.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll make sure to go, Jen.”</p><p> </p><p>“Alright. It was nice seeing you again, Jaeminnie.” </p><p> </p><p>“You too.” Jaemin gave him a soft smile laced with sadness as he left, the door shutting behind him. He stared at the white door, tears welling his eyes and making their way down his cheeks.</p><p> </p><p>If Jaemin could have one wish, he wanted to go back to the summer before he left. That was when everything was alright. </p><p> </p><p>He loved Jeno and Jaemin loved him. </p><p> </p><p>They could spend hours at Jeno’s place with his bedroom door locked and just lay there on his bed cuddling and lazily kissing one another. They could go to the ocean and watch the waves meet the shore without a care in the world.</p><p> </p><p>They were young and dumb and in love. </p><p> </p><p>Jaemin knew that all good things had to come to an end but he kept indulging in Jeno. He kept holding him, kissing him, telling him how much he loved him. He couldn’t help himself, he needed to break free before things would get too bad but they never seemed to. </p><p> </p><p>And then they did.</p><p> </p><p>Jaemin would never admit it but maybe Jeno’s father finding them was for the best. His father wasn’t that nice to Jaemin once he found out he was gay but as long as he came over when he was gone, they wouldn’t have to deal with him. </p><p> </p><p>That one day that he was home early just had to fuck everything up. There was so much screaming and threats being thrown around that as soon as Jaemin could, he left the house. He never really asked Jeno what happened after he left because he didn’t want to make him uncomfortable but he could tell it wasn’t the best. </p><p> </p><p>Jeno stopped talking to him in public after that but he would occasionally text him and the two would meet up at the beach at what they deemed their spot. They’d talk and just watch the waves and the stars and act like everything was okay when they knew it wasn’t.</p><p> </p><p>Through those weeks of sneaking around, a lot of things changed between them. The late nights at the beach and his adoring texts came in less and less before they stopped altogether. Sometimes when Jaemin would walk around, he would hear people talking about him and how he lured Jeno into everything as if the love they felt wasn’t mutual.</p><p> </p><p>He learned a bit about what happened to Jeno through gossip he’d hear on the street. According to them, he earned a job at some company and was able to work from home but had business meetings once a week or so. Unfortunately for him, following whatever was said about Jeno was shit about him and he couldn’t take it anymore.</p><p> </p><p>The next month that followed, Jaemin was gone from that town. </p><p> </p><p>His number changed and he made sure to steer as far away from home as possible just to reduce his chances of seeing someone he knew. He built a new life in the city as a preschool teacher and he was content with his life. </p><p> </p><p>Didn’t mean that he was happy.</p><p> </p><p>Sometimes when he’d lay down in bed, he wished he stayed just to know how Jeno was holding up but deep inside he knew that it would just hurt them. They both had reputations in their town and Jaemin just so happened to be the outcast. If he dragged Jeno down to his level, he would never be able to go back home. </p><p> </p><p>In Jaemin’s mind, he was doing this all for Jeno. He was going through all of that to make sure Jeno was alright even though he wasn’t even sure he was doing alright but now he does.</p><p> </p><p>He has a girlfriend now, Eunji, and he was sure that she makes him happy to an extent. Obviously, she wasn’t doing something right since Jeno cheated on him with Jaemin but he knew he was happy with her. It would eat at him for years to come but knowing that Jeno was happy would make him happy. </p><p> </p><p>But Jaemin doesn’t even know if Jeno was happy. He was just saying he was sure to make himself feel good. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe Jaemin should stop fixating everything on Jeno. He should start putting himself on top, prioritizing himself instead of someone he saw once every year or so. He should stop himself each time the chance presents itself but he knows he’ll always overlook it because Jeno was addicting. Jeno was like his drug.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck…” Jaemin mumbled as he put his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>God, as much as Jeno would hurt him as time goes on, he couldn’t help himself. After years of being away, he was still in love with him. All those movies were wrong, Love isn’t all happy fun and life isn’t fair, especially to the ones it doesn’t favor. </p><p> </p><p>Fuck love. </p><p> </p><p>“I have to see him tomorrow,” Jaemin said as he laid down in bed, not bothering to get ready for bed or even get dressed again. He fell asleep that way, only the sheets covering his body. </p><p> </p><p>The waves crashed onto the shore, the foam disappearing as it pulled away just for it to come back again. The sand had now gotten colder as the sunset and the moon rose, shining down on the sea. The smell of the ocean was so overwhelming but comforting. </p><p> </p><p>Jaemin had been sitting there for hours just watching the waves meet the shore over, and over, and over. He didn’t bother to turn around when he heard the sand move around behind him, already knowing who was here. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re here early.” Jeno teased, sitting down next to Jaemin with his arm coming around to brush Jaemin’s hair. Jaemin’s head rested on the other’s shoulder as his eyes remained fixed on the moonlight reflecting on the sea. </p><p> </p><p>“Just wanted to watch the sunset. It was beautiful by the way.” Jaemin mumbled as Jeno pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Jeno still smelled like him and his warm perfume that Jeno said reminded him of freshly cleaned laundry on a Sunday morning.</p><p> </p><p>“How long have you been sitting here? You smell like the sun.” Jeno teased, his infectious smile making Jaemin laugh and for a split second, he forgot what he was here to do. Almost like he was 21 again and the only worries on his mind were whether he or Jeno would make dinner that day.</p><p> </p><p>“When’s your flight?” Jeno asked as Jaemin toyed around with his fingers, tracing the lines on his palm with his fingertip.</p><p> </p><p>“Three AM.” Jeno hummed.</p><p> </p><p>“You know,” He shifted and his arm went from Jaemin’s hair to his shoulder, pulling him in closer like he was making sure that Jaemin wouldn’t leave again even though he knew that eventually, he’d be on a plane back home, to his home. </p><p> </p><p>“I come here sometimes whenever I need a break. Whether it’s from work or Eunji, I just come here and sit and look at the water like we used to.” Jaemin raised his head to look at Jeno and all he saw was the elder watching the waves with this soft, sad smile on his face. </p><p> </p><p>He knew what was coming yet he still faced it head-on. Jaemin admired that. </p><p> </p><p>“You do?” He asked, a bewildered expression on his face. To be honest, he was pretty surprised that Jeno even thought of this place as much as, or probably even more, that Jaemin did. It hurt him. It really did.</p><p> </p><p>“C’mon, I can’t spend years of my life continuously coming to this place for it to not become some sort of comfort for me. I love this place. It holds a lot of good memories for me.” Jaemin hummed and Jeno turned his head to look at him, his hand coming up to stroke his cheek gently. </p><p> </p><p>Jaemin closed his eyes and pushed himself forward, his lips meeting Jeno’s. He couldn’t seem to stop himself, it was like an instinct for him. Every time Jeno looked at him, he felt like he had to throw himself onto him and just kiss the shit out of him. He was the one who pulled away first and he made sure that he wouldn’t meet him in the middle again. </p><p> </p><p>“We have to stop this,” Jaemin whispered, “I mean it this time. We can’t keep doing this, Jeno.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know,” Jeno whispered back. The sound of the waves crashing on the shore filled in the silence that fell between the two of them. Jeno tried to kiss Jaemin again but he stopped them, leaning back. </p><p> </p><p>“You have a girlfriend, Jeno. You’re cheating on her and it’s wrong. I don’t know her, but you do. I feel so fucking bad.” Jaemin bit his inner cheek as he saw Jeno’s face fall. </p><p> </p><p>“I know.”</p><p> </p><p>“If you know then why do you keep letting me come back to you like this? If you know that it’s bad for both of us, why even bother giving me hope?” Jeno stayed silent as tears welled in Jaemin’s eyes. “You know I still love you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is that all you’re going to fucking say?! I know? This is serious, Jeno, I-”</p><p> </p><p>“You know I only got together with Eunji because my dad made me? He still has some hope in him that makes him believe that with the right girl I can turn straight. I know this fucking hurts you as much as it hurts me but I still love you.” Jeno pressed their foreheads together and Jaemin let his tears flow down his cheeks. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll always love you,” Jeno whispered and pressed a kiss against Jaemin’s lips. </p><p> </p><p>He kissed the elder back, but he stayed put. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t bring himself to throw his arms around the other’s neck. When they pulled away, their foreheads were still touching and Jaemin was still crying. Jeno rubbed his tears away with his calloused fingers and Jaemin thought for a moment before throwing everything away.</p><p> </p><p>“Come home with me.” Jaemin wiped his own tears away as Jeno looked at him with confusion written all over his face. </p><p> </p><p>“But you just told me-”</p><p> </p><p>“Not like that,” Jaemin softly chuckled and Jeno laughed along with him. </p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean then?”</p><p> </p><p>“Come home with me to my place. Leave this place with me. I don’t care about what the fuck your dad says. You can’t be yourself as long as you’re here and if you come with me,” Jaemin reached for Jeno’s hand and laced them together. “We can be together. For real this time. No more sneaking around and once-a-year hookups.”</p><p> </p><p>Jeno was silent for a moment before a smile made its way onto his lips. He quickly stood up and pulled Jaemin up with him, his hand squeezing his. He brought it up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss onto his knuckles. </p><p> </p><p>“Is that a yes?” Jaemin asked, not being able to refrain himself from smiling. Jeno scoffed and nodded before pulling Jaemin in for another kiss. </p><p> </p><p>“C’mon let’s go grab your bags from the hotel.”</p><p> </p><p>For a split second, Jaemin actually thought about what they were doing. Of course, he probably should have given it more thought before he spoke up but the only thing on his mind was Jeno. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh, how are we going to explain this to your dad and Eunji?” Jaemin asked as Jeno tugged on his arm, leading him to his car. The elder waved him off and chuckled. </p><p> </p><p>“Ah fuck them.”</p><p> </p><p>Oh god. Jaemin felt bad. Was he really about to take away this girl’s boyfriend for his own satisfaction?</p><p> </p><p>Jeno started to pull the boy to his car but Jaemin’s feet stayed put, his eyes looking at their interlocked hands. He wanted to be with  Jeno, it was his only wish but, but he didn’t want it like this. He let go and Jeno turned around, his eyes laced with confusion. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey what’s wrong? We’ll be fine once we get to your place. Everything will be alright.” Jeno’s hands grabbed onto Jaemin’s face, caressing his cheeks softly. Jaemin took a hold of his wrists, pulling the other’s hands-off. </p><p> </p><p>“No, it won’t Jeno. The plan it,” Jaemin’s lip quivered as he looked down, not able to look Jeno in the eye. “It’s stupid and rushed and I’m stealing you away from Eunji and you have a life here and your dad! Your dad will actually kill me if he finds out and he’ll disown you and-”</p><p> </p><p>Jeno cut the younger off when their lips met and he could feel Jaemin’s tears run down. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey…” Jeno wiped his tears away as Jaemin shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“We can’t Jeno, we just can’t.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, we can. Trust me.” Jeno leaned in once again but was stopped by a new presence joining them. </p><p> </p><p>“He’s right. You can’t.” </p><p> </p><p>Jeno let go of Jaemin’s cheeks as he faced Eunji who just had her hands balled into fists by her sides. </p><p> </p><p>“Eunji-” He began to walk forward but was stopped when her palm met his cheek. The petite girl looked at both Jeno and Jaemin with the greatest look of disgust and rage. The slap sounded like it stung and as much as Jaemin wanted to step forward to help Jeno, he knew he’d get slapped too. </p><p> </p><p>“Jeno-” Eunji’s eyes narrowed as she stared at Jaemin who simply stood there.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you dare fucking speak his name you dirty little-” She stepped toward Jaemin with her hand raised but before she could strike, Jeno got a hold of her wrist. “Are you seriously stopping me right now? You’re just as disgusting as him.” </p><p> </p><p>There was a pregnant silence between the three of them before Eunji ripped her hand out of Jeno’s grip. </p><p> </p><p>“You disgust me. I should have known you were still fucking around with him. I shouldn’t have believed you when you said you changed. They’re all fucking right. You’re a dirty fucking sinner.” Her eyes were welling with tears as her gaze landed onto Jaemin. </p><p> </p><p>“You too. You brought him into,” She waved around her hands as she tried to find the right words. “You brought him into all of this nasty fucking shit. He wouldn’t be gay if he met you.” </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t bring Jaemin into this. He did nothing. It was all me.” Eunji scoffed and wiped her eyes as she shook her head. </p><p> </p><p>“And you’re defending him? God, you’re going to hell. Both of you.” Jaemin flinched as she spat at their feet, turning away back to her car. Her hand tightly gripped her door handle as she faced the two men once again. She let out some cackle as she shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“Your father is going to have both of your heads, Lee Jeno.”</p><p> </p><p>That’s what got Jaemin. Seeing Jeno’s eyes widen as he realized what his father could do to both of them. He mumbled curses as Eunji sped off and Jaemin stepped away to vomit in the sand. This whole situation hurt his stomach. </p><p> </p><p>“Fuck.” Jeno grabbed his keys and jogged up to his car, turning around once at Jaemin who was just kneeling in the ground, sobs racking through his body as he wallowed in what he did. </p><p> </p><p>None of this would have happened if he didn’t let Jeno kiss him. None of this wouldn’t have happened if he did let Jeno lock his bedroom door. None of this would have happened if he didn’t keep coming back. </p><p> </p><p>None of this would have happened if they didn’t meet all those years ago.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry Jaemin. I love you.” Jeno said before turning away and rushing into his car. </p><p> </p><p>And like the ocean, he left the sand alone with a part of him missing. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>follow me on twt @/SUGARCOSMOS</p></blockquote></div></div>
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